Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category
While cleaning up one of my old machines, I came across this little artifact.
My challenge was to re-write the opening paragraph of Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis as it may have been penned by other writers. So without further ado…
The Metamorphosis by H.P. Lovecraft
My name is Gregor Samsa, and if the world discovers this manuscript, then perhaps it can save others from the fate that even now confounds my reason and leaves me gibbering at the edge of sanity. One morning not long ago I awoke from troubled dreams filled with the otherworldly ululations of strange voices and the insistent piping of flutes from the swirling chaos at the very center of the universe, and found myself in my bed, horribly changed– dare I say it?– into an unspeakable, sanity-blasting form. I lay on what seemed to be an armour-like back, and as I lifted my head a little I could just see the brown, non-Euclidean curve of my brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections. The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off any moment. My multitudinous legs, pitifully gaunt compared with the unnaturally bloated shape of the rest of my new and terrible form, waved about helplessly as I looked on in abject horror.
The Metamorphosis by Ernest Hemingway
It was morning. Gregor Samsa awoke. He had been transformed in his bed into a cockroach. He lay on his back. He could see his brown belly, domed and divided into stiff arches. The bedding barely covered it. His legs waved.
The Metamorphosis by Walt Whitman
I sing the body carapacious;
The sprawl and fullness of its shell,
Stiff domed arches engirth my belly, and I engirth them;
They will not let me off my back until I embrace them, accept them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of the Soul.
The expression of the face defies description;
But the expression of a man made a bug appears not only in his antennae;
It is in his many legs also, it is in the joints of his carapace,
It is in his crawl, the carriage of his thorax, the flex of his abdomen–
The bedsheets do not cover it;
The strong, thin legs he has strike through the bedding;
To see him conveys as much as seeing a cockroach, maybe more;
You linger to see him on his back, waving his legs at you.
O my Body! I dare not desert the likes of you in other men and women, nor the likes of parts of you;
Head, neck, hair, ears, eyes, mouth, tongue, lips, teeth, nose, cheeks, forehead, chin;
And not head, thorax, abdomen, carapace, mandibles, antennae, compound eyes!
The Metamorphosis by E. Allen Poe
Mr. S___ was in one of his fits — how else shall I term them? — of enthusiasm. His brother Gregor had in his sleep transformed into an unknown bivalve, and, more than this, he had been hunted down and secured; he was now clearly visible as a scarabaeus which was believed to be totally new, but in respect to which S___ wished to have my opinion on the morrow.
“And why not to-night?” I asked, rubbing my hands over the blaze, and wishing the whole tribe of scarabaei at the devil.
“Ah, if I had only known you were here!” said S___, “but it’s so long since I saw you; and how could I foresee that you would pay me a visit this very night of all others? As I was coming home I met Lieutenant Gentarme from the fort, and, very foolishly, I lent him the bug– that is to say, my brother; so it will be impossible for you to see him until the morning. Stay here to-night, and I will send down for him at sunrise. He is become the loveliest thing in creation!”
The Metamorphosis by Kahlil Gibran
And a man said, “Speak to us of metamorphosis.”
And he answered saying:
You would know what it is like to awaken, transformed, from a troubled dream.
You would gaze with compound eyes on the naked curve of your brown belly.
You would touch with your antennae the slight bedding that barely hides your form.
You would kick with your many legs and free yourself from the prone position you find yourself in.
But let there be no helpless waving and fearful scurrying from the light.
For like the soul, the insect is a creature boundless and beautiful.
Say not, “I have metamorphosized into a bug,” but rather, “The bug has metamorphosized into me.”
For the soul walks upon all paths, whether on two legs or six.
I don’t remember what initially inspired this, but I’m pretty sure that a combination of alcohol and IRC were involved.
Last week I responded to a general media posted online request looking for people who “made it” via self study:
I am looking for professionals who developed their particular expertise by intense focus, discipline and self study. You didn’t necessarily learn what you know and what you’ve become good at (and known for) at college (although you could have learned the basics there.) You may not even have a degree. Whatever it is you’ve accomplished, you did it “your way”–and it has worked. If this fits you or someone you know, please send me a BRIEF description of:
- what you do
- how and why you fit my description here–please be specific
- your name, city, company and if I can use your full name, city & company
I’ll follow up with questions via e-mail later today.
I promptly wrote up a bio and sent it off:
I think that I’m a great fit for your column regarding professionals who developed their expertise by self-study as opposed to traditional learning. Here’s a brief summary of my story so far.
I was a brilliant student through high school, graduating third in my class (with only a .5 point spread between the top three graduates). I attempted college but fell short in terms of finances and maturity– I was 17 and really not emotionally ready. I ended up dropping out and pursuing my technology interests on my own time.
I had been programming computers since I was 7 years old, and continued working on technology projects that interested me into the early 90s. I got online in 1993 and immediately found the ideal new venue for my efforts. I built my first web site shortly thereafter, and by the time the rest of the world discovered the Internet– and particularly the web– I had quite a head start.
I did freelancing for a while before taking my first corporate job working in web development in 1995. Over the next 13 years I worked directly for companies like National Instruments, Houghton Mifflin, and Leo Burnett, while always keeping my skills honed by exploring new technologies and pursuing side projects. In my career I’ve had the chance to work with clients and partners like JPL (Jet Propulsion Laboratories), NASA, Starbucks, Wieden+Kennedy, Morgan Stanley, Apple, Adobe, Thomson Learning, and the US Army.
Although I’ve had trouble getting past HR screenings with a lack of a degree, once I am in place in a company I’ve always excelled– rapidly rising to positions of management and leadership, from director-level to C-level executive.
In December of last year I struck out on my own again and co-founded a web development business called Hapax Labs, and we’re now in the process of being acquired by Mir Internet Marketing. I’ll be joining the Mir team as a part-owner and Chief Solutions Architect.
I like to think that I’m following in the footsteps of other passionate technologists who made their name without a degree hanging on their wall– Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Bill Gates, just to name a few.
You can find details of my career on my resume at http://www.idolhands.com/resume, or by checking out my LinkedIn profile at http://www.linkedin.com/in/coreyehmke
Although I never heard back from the journalist, my story must have been what she was looking for. Look what turned up yesterday: While degree still preferred, it’s certainly no requirement
I’m in the second paragraph under “Seizing Your Opportunity”. (I’m pretty sure that my comments about Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were helpful in writing her article, as well.)
It’s taken almost a year of on-again, off-again effort, but my book is finally ready for the world! For those of you who do not know, last year I took my grandmother to Poland to visit her childhood home. She had not been back since World War II. I kept a journal and took nearly 600 pictures during our emotional, 10-day trip. This afternoon I finally completed turning them into a book. It’s called Kehr Wieder, which is German for “return”.
From the introduction:
When I was growing up, I spent hours listening to stories that my grandmother told about her childhood in Danzig, Poland. Her early years were idyllic and full of adventure, a stark contrast to the horror that World War II would bring to her corner of the world.
Like so many others in Europe, the war changed everything for her family. Almost overnight, their hardworking but happy lifestyle changed into a daily struggle for survival as the nations of the world fought at their very doorstep.
By the time the war was over, her remaining family had been scattered across the continent and had lost practically everything. Ever the fighter, my grandmother pulled herself out of the ruins of her stolen childhood and started a new life and a new family in America.
But although she made a good life for herself here, she has always been haunted by the memories of her home.
In celebration of her 85th birthday, and in thanks for everything that she has done for me, I took my grandmother back to Germany and Poland in 2007 to see the place that she came from one more time.
This is the story of our journey home.
You can preview the book online and even buy a copy if you’re so inclined. Thanks to Blurb.com for their free bookmaking software, bookstore, and on-demand press.
If you know me in the nondigital world, you also know that my family homeschools my daughter. I didn’t know much about homeschooling or the homeschooling community before we started this adventure a few years ago; my exposure had been limited to one cool-but-eccentric family where I grew up and an uber-religious boss in the 90’s. Homeschooling has been great for us, however, and my 11-year-old daughter is learning more history, geography, literature, and Latin than I ever did, even in high school.
One of the great things about my working from home (since leaving my corporate job back in December) is that not only do I get to spend more time with my family in general, but I’m also able to take on some responsibility for Lydia’s science education. For a few months now we’ve been learning the basics of electronics. Over at our homeschooling blog, www.WhatAboutSocialization.com, you can find the first of our video podcasts, entitled “Warning: Science in Progress!”
The first episode shows our first Arduino project. I’m working on the second and third installments now.
I’ve got Tip of the Day enabled in TextMate. Check out this gem from today…
-25 points if you don’t get the reference.
One of the goals that I set for myself for the year was to spend more time playing guitar. I’ve been playing on and off for over 10 years now, but last year was particularly hectic with work and Europe and I barely picked up an instrument at all. So a few weeks ago I went to pick up new strings. I had noticed a new guitar shop, Danche Guitars, in Oak Park and decided to pop in and check it out.
When I stepped in, I was immediately transported back in time. The smell of wood glue, sawdust, and fine wood reminded me of the harpsichord workshop of Peter Redstone, an old neighbor from Virginia.
I was charmed by the shop and the proprietor, an older Croatian gentleman who evidently took tremendous pride in the workmanship of his luxury guitars. He was even nice enough to let me play one of them, but I have to admit that the $15,000 price tag of the guitar I was holding made me more than a little nervous.
After half an hour of talking, as I was selecting my strings, he pointed to a flyer on the wall and said that his son was taking students if I was interested in signing up for lessons. I should point out that while I take tremendous pride in being self-taught in nearly everything that I do, I had realized some time ago that there were fundamental flaws in my physical approach to the guitar, and these were preventing me from doing certain things that I needed to do. So I swallowed my pride and gave him my name and number.
Now, every week, I’m studying under the patient tutelage of the incredibly talented Goran Ivanovic, and I’m seeing tremendous progress in a very short time.
By the way, if you’re interested in hearing some of my music, I recently uploaded some songs to Last.fm. Just look for “Dust and a Shadow“.
Take a look at Tuesday: from 49 to -2 in about 8 hours. Whee!
Hard to believe, but my 20th high school reunion is coming up next year. This fact doesn’t make me feel “old” or anything, though; I simply don’t feel like I’m the same person. At all. And while I can certainly narrate the steps that led me from a town of 400 in the swamps of Virginia to where I am now, it seems more like a familiar fiction than memory. Odd.
The organizers of the reunion are using some sort of pre-packaged high school reunion web app, where you invite your classmates to register and everyone can see profiles, send mail, etc. I was particularly happy to see the name of one of my long-lost school friends, Leon, appear in the roster.
He probably doesn’t realize it, but he’s the reason that I did so well in high school. I was in danger of being bored out of my mind, unchallenged and unmotivated by the curriculum. But Leon and I had an unspoken competition for who could get the best grades in our science, computer lit, and math classes. Usually, the gap between us came down to tenths of a point. This was particularly true in our honors physics class, where we essentially taught ourselves.
Leon and I were also protogeeks, both of us having a natural affinity for programming. We had plans to start our own software company (”Z-Tech”) and signed up for every free subscription, swag, and sample that we could, under our company name. We worked side-by-side on the state-of-the-art Apple ][e computers that were in the lab, and probably drove our computer lit teacher crazy. We laughed over the old Beagle Bros. catalogs, shared secrets for cracking copy-protected software, and took secret pleasure in crashing the computers of our fellow students when they got too annoying.
I am also eternally grateful for the time that Leon loaned me his programmable Tandy scientific calculator, which allowed me to conduct one of my earliest experiments in parapsychology for the science fair. (That’s a story for another post.)
I’ve thought about Leon from time to time over the years, wondering what he ended up doing, and if the path of his life ever went the way he expected it to. Unfortunately, his last name is just common enough to make him Google-proof. But I’m happy to say that almost immediately after I registered on the reunion site, I got an e-mail from him, reminiscing about the old days. I can’t wait to catch up with him.
Leon, do you still have any of those old 5.25″ floppies around?
Shameless self-promotion: a friend of mine who is an ardent Obama supporter and active Something Awful forum goon recently contracted me to build a blog site for her. The result is “The Audacity of Truth”, a site devoted to dispelling media myths and mud-slinging centered on Obama. The Something Awful community regularly posts there, and together they have raised over $15,000 for the campaign through the site.
Check it out at www.audacityoftruth.org
So as of my birthday (December 17, for those who are keeping track and feel the need to buy me a belated birthday present), I have quit the corporate labor force and entered the world of independent consulting.
In the process, I have discovered first-hand what I previously only knew of from whispers and legends: something called “Life/Work Balance”. Those of you who know me or have worked with me are probably aware of my insane work ethic and my highly focused yet manic devotion to Getting Things Done, the result of which usually amounts to about 60-70 hours of productive work per week. Doing the math to calculate my actual hourly wage, it was clear that with a salaried position I was edging my way down from director-level pay toward McJob-level payWorking from home hasn’t really reduced the number of hours that I spend on the job, but it does mean that I’m much more flexible in terms of when I put those hours in.
My typical day starts at 9am with a couple of cups of coffee and perhaps some breakfast, spent in the company of my amazing daughter and lovely wife; at 10 I start work, stopping for an hour lunch (and dog-walk) at noon. I continue work through 7 or so, when it’s time for dinner. The evening is split between around-the-house work, hanging out to watch Sopranos, or whatever else. If I still have work that I want to do, I resume around 11 or midnight, after Lisa has gone to bed. (Otherwise, it’s World of Warcraft time…)
I’m using The Omni Group’s excellent OmniFocus in conjunction with a small whiteboard to manage my tasks, along with a bunch of productivity tips gleaned from LifeHacker. The result? High productivity, much more family time, a commute that doesn’t involve an hour a day of public transportation, and the freedom to spend my time how I want it.
Overall, a happy Corey.
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